Goodbye, I'm not coming back anymore. Miss me, but I will still be around.


Breaking free from my old habits, becoming more 'me'. This blog is too much full of pain, and the more I stay, the more it keeps sucking me into the pain. Even the URL reminds me.


Moving on for good. When you read this, this blog is history. <3


I love you, for reading till here. I love you for supporting me and giving me tags when I least expect them.

Thank you for being there, even if virtually. I love you.

Now, it's time.

:D

I don't know but these days, I've been crying really hard. It's like, it's just so strong, I can't contain it.

I try not to cry in front of anyone, but the truth is I am crying all the time. Crying of happiness, crying of frustration, crying because I miss someone, crying because I'm wasting time, crying for everything.

Yet, these world doesn't tolerate people who cry all the time do they? So they go about, with a strong facade, being even the most strongest fighters. But inside, we are all crying, don't we?

Crying of happiness. Crying for everything. Because we are born that way, and we will die, that way.

If you let me cry in front of you, whenever I feel like it, you will see the real side of me. The real me.

My greatest tragedy is that the people whom I love most, are the ones I push away so they won't have to hurt the way I do.

For even the worst pain is nothing compared to their tears.

-Anonymous

I dislike egoistical people. And now, I'm becoming one.

Some random guy that added me on Facebook chatted with me today.

He asked me to be his fiancee. He sounded serious. As serious as someone who proposes through the internet.

LOL. I don't even know how his nose looks like up front!

Well, much as I would like to say yes.. I said no.

And he, went all awkward, and said 'bay'.

I guess, it means 'bye'?

XD Made me smile that guy.

I managed to finally, accept and heal... over one of my darkest secrets. It was such a strong hold that I didn't know I've kept it inside for so many years, until I start to relentlessly ask myself, why am I always feeling such pain all the time?

I even feel my body is starting to heal much faster now, since accepting it.

Everybody has one. Maybe.

So what's yours?

Sometimes I really wonder, why isn't my blog like the rest of most bloggers?

Posting interesting pictures, about their life, concerts and food, and whatever else that should make a blog interesting.

Somehow I don't have the strength to blog these kind of things. It feels like the same usual stuff. Nothing provocative, nothing that makes you think, or dig inside my soul.

Usual things that distracts.

Not that I'm saying mine is interesting. But at least, mine's pretty different. Or maybe, I belong in the delusional, always whining category.



It's just me.

L.O.V.E. is just another word I never learned to pronounce.

:)

Accepting pain somehow releases me from it.

I don't like pretending. But I don't like to be genuine around others.

Oh well, let's just pretend then.

And I know they won't like what they see, not literally. And I don't like when they get too close to me. Especially when some of them are idiots.

I hate idiots. With a passion. If I were able to eliminate.. I would eliminate idiots out of this whole planet.

No, not those retarded ones. For them, I know it is not their choice.

Idiots. Scums of the earth. Those who laugh at every single joke, think they are Oh so cool, and those who think they are always right.. and etc. There's so many idiots, I would reach my death listing every single one of them.

I fucking hate them. I don't even know why.

I don't like being so vulnerable. Of course, you might think, isn't blogging about it making myself vulnerable? Exposing myself?

I like to expose this part of me. Expose the side that you would never like. It makes me feel free, somehow.

And the side that is loveable? I think.. nobody would ever see that. Maybe not in this lifetime.

What you see.. is the side of me that is likeable. The loveable side... I would rather be alone then show you that side of me.

I guessed I'm so used to pushing people away from me. Those who try to break down my walls, I truly respect them. Cause they'll never get past those barriers.

Well, maybe I shouldn't have said never. Maybe out there, someone can get past through those barriers. Until then, my real self? Bye bye~

Tragic, sad?

Well, I just feel numb. Nothing sad about it, from what I can feel.

Goodbye, I'm not coming back anymore. Miss me, but I will still be around.


Breaking free from my old habits, becoming more 'me'. This blog is too much full of pain, and the more I stay, the more it keeps sucking me into the pain. Even the URL reminds me.


Moving on for good. When you read this, this blog is history. <3


I love you, for reading till here. I love you for supporting me and giving me tags when I least expect them.

Thank you for being there, even if virtually. I love you.

Now, it's time.

:D

I don't know but these days, I've been crying really hard. It's like, it's just so strong, I can't contain it.

I try not to cry in front of anyone, but the truth is I am crying all the time. Crying of happiness, crying of frustration, crying because I miss someone, crying because I'm wasting time, crying for everything.

Yet, these world doesn't tolerate people who cry all the time do they? So they go about, with a strong facade, being even the most strongest fighters. But inside, we are all crying, don't we?

Crying of happiness. Crying for everything. Because we are born that way, and we will die, that way.

If you let me cry in front of you, whenever I feel like it, you will see the real side of me. The real me.

My greatest tragedy is that the people whom I love most, are the ones I push away so they won't have to hurt the way I do.

For even the worst pain is nothing compared to their tears.

-Anonymous

I dislike egoistical people. And now, I'm becoming one.

Some random guy that added me on Facebook chatted with me today.

He asked me to be his fiancee. He sounded serious. As serious as someone who proposes through the internet.

LOL. I don't even know how his nose looks like up front!

Well, much as I would like to say yes.. I said no.

And he, went all awkward, and said 'bay'.

I guess, it means 'bye'?

XD Made me smile that guy.

I managed to finally, accept and heal... over one of my darkest secrets. It was such a strong hold that I didn't know I've kept it inside for so many years, until I start to relentlessly ask myself, why am I always feeling such pain all the time?

I even feel my body is starting to heal much faster now, since accepting it.

Everybody has one. Maybe.

So what's yours?

Sometimes I really wonder, why isn't my blog like the rest of most bloggers?

Posting interesting pictures, about their life, concerts and food, and whatever else that should make a blog interesting.

Somehow I don't have the strength to blog these kind of things. It feels like the same usual stuff. Nothing provocative, nothing that makes you think, or dig inside my soul.

Usual things that distracts.

Not that I'm saying mine is interesting. But at least, mine's pretty different. Or maybe, I belong in the delusional, always whining category.



It's just me.

L.O.V.E. is just another word I never learned to pronounce.

:)

Accepting pain somehow releases me from it.

I don't like pretending. But I don't like to be genuine around others.

Oh well, let's just pretend then.

And I know they won't like what they see, not literally. And I don't like when they get too close to me. Especially when some of them are idiots.

I hate idiots. With a passion. If I were able to eliminate.. I would eliminate idiots out of this whole planet.

No, not those retarded ones. For them, I know it is not their choice.

Idiots. Scums of the earth. Those who laugh at every single joke, think they are Oh so cool, and those who think they are always right.. and etc. There's so many idiots, I would reach my death listing every single one of them.

I fucking hate them. I don't even know why.

I don't like being so vulnerable. Of course, you might think, isn't blogging about it making myself vulnerable? Exposing myself?

I like to expose this part of me. Expose the side that you would never like. It makes me feel free, somehow.

And the side that is loveable? I think.. nobody would ever see that. Maybe not in this lifetime.

What you see.. is the side of me that is likeable. The loveable side... I would rather be alone then show you that side of me.

I guessed I'm so used to pushing people away from me. Those who try to break down my walls, I truly respect them. Cause they'll never get past those barriers.

Well, maybe I shouldn't have said never. Maybe out there, someone can get past through those barriers. Until then, my real self? Bye bye~

Tragic, sad?

Well, I just feel numb. Nothing sad about it, from what I can feel.